936 Pennies: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting
Join our adventure and discover inspiration and resources for refusing rush, creating habits of rest, living intentionally, and making the most of this beautiful life!
Today was a very proud day. At the end of the service at our church, our pastor asked all of the mothers to stand so that they could be recognized. Today I stood.
My first Mother’s Day has left me reeling, relishing and reflecting on how blessed I am. Today I stood, yes proud. Proud because I have the most adorable, hilarious, handsome, precious, sweetest, wonderful son on the face of this earth (I may be a tad bit biased).
However, more than proud, I was humbled to stand. Even more than proud, I am humbled to be a mother. I have been given such a gift, such a privilege that I do not deserve. I am nothing, yet God gave to me a son. A precious, unique, one-of-a-kind, brilliant creation of His own. A child whom He loves more than I ever could. God has entrusted this child into our care. I am greatly humbled.
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8
“I thank Him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service” 1 Timothy 1:12
God has enabled me for this great task known as motherhood. He has greatly provided everything I need to carry out this ministry He has gifted to me. He has provided a leader for me in Grayson, one to lead with grace and wisdom. One to help, support, and encourage me. One to bounce ideas off of. One to share the laughs, joys, and tantrums with. One to embark on this incredible journey of parenthood with. He is not just a father by biological means. Grayson has become a father in every sense, a man of God whom I am proud to call the father of my child. Watching him interact with Ezekiel–teaching him, laughing with him, reading to him, I realize that God had a hand in picking this man to be Ezekiel’s daddy.
God has equipped me with a phenomenal model of motherhood. My own mom. A woman after God’s heart. A woman of strength. A woman who has shown me what it means to respect, love, serve, and adore the husband God blesses us with. A woman of such love, compassion, creativity, and passion. She is fun! She nurtured me as I grew, and encouraged me to pursue the Lord with fervor. My mom is a hero of mine, this is for sure. In her I find the kind of mother I aspire to be.
And, one of the benefits of marriage (yes, benefits!) is that I find myself now with another mom! She may have only come into my life a short 4 years ago, but she has played, and continues to do so, such an astounding role in my life. Her passion to serve the Lord and love her family inspires me. She and my father-in-law raised such an incredible man, my husband. They raised him to love the Lord. For this I am forever grateful. I would ask no more from God in a father and mother in law. He has blessed me so greatly with the privilege of calling them family.
God has equipped me for motherhood through His Spirit and His Word. He bestows grace upon me each day. Yes, I become tired (quite often, chasing around a ten-month-old!) but I never tire of caring for Ezekiel. Christ gives me strength for each morning, and every evening. Yes, some days are more trying, but His grace is sufficient. His mercy is over-encompassing. I am never begrudging of this task. No, I am humbled that God has set this great responsibility before me. I am not always patient, but His patience makes up for my lack. Every moment I need it, He is fully willing to supply. I am not happy every moment, at every turn (hard to believe, I know, with this bundle of joy!), but I am always joyful. Christ has given me great joy. Joy abundant in His provision, His salvation, and the ministry He has trusted unto Grayson and me to raise this little boy to love and follow Him.
“May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father…” Colossians 1:11-12
I realize that this day is not a joyous one for all. For many, it is indeed a day of celebration. However, for others it is a day of mourning. I consider those who have lost their mother. I think of those, even those quite dear to me, who have lost a child, whether in the womb, or even after holding their little one. I think also of those with a great desire to become parents, but have not yet seen their desire fulfilled. I cannot begin to understand the depth of this grief. I won’t even attempt to relate to their hurt. However, I can attest to the magnificent, sufficient grace of our God. The God who heals. The God who mends. No, we don’t understand these overwhelming adversities, but we cling to the One whom we know is good. He loves us. He knows our pain, no matter how deep. This I am certain of.
“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:5
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3
His grace is sufficient. He is enough in grief. He is enough for our every need. He is enough when He has called us to a great task. For me, I depend on His sufficient provision each day. Every morning, when I awake to that little boy across the hall calling out for me to rescue him from the confines of his crib, I say a little prayer. “Lord, give me grace for this day.” Only, it is not a little prayer by any means. I need Him. I need Him desperately. I need Him to equip me, to enable me, to love me so that I can love. I need Him so that I can be a wife and a mother. I need Him so that I can be a follower of Christ. I need Him. I need Him. I need Him.
I am not worthy, yet Christ has saved me. He gave Himself for me. He died for me! I am not worthy, yet He counts me worthy. I am not worthy, yet He has blessed me beyond what I could ever ask. I am not worthy, yet He is good. He is so very, very good. He has given me hope and a future. He has given me not only eternal life, but abundant life here on earth. That abundant life is so evident in His blessings. My husband, my son.
Today in church I stood. I stood because I am a mom. Mommy. A dream always in my heart. A dream realized on July 18 2011, when a precious little boy was born. When first I laid eyes on him, the surreal reality of the moment overwhelmed me. I was thoroughly overtaken, enough that I could not grasp that the tiny little being whom the doctor handed to me was mine. Mine. Ezekiel Grayson Lynum. I am so humbled that God would give me this gift. He would give Grayson and me this responsibility. Yes, He loves us. He loves us indeed.
Raising kids stirs something deep in our souls — an innate knowing that our time is finite. Taking my kids outside in creation, I’m discovering how to stretch our time and pack it to the brim with meaning. God’s creativity provides the riches of resources for teaching the next generation who He is and how He loves us. Join our adventure and discover inspiration and resources for refusing rush, creating habits of rest, living intentionally, and making the most of this beautiful life!