As promised, from time to time I will post a blog I wrote during my first trimester of this pregnancy. My hope is that these posts may both cause a laugh and give a little insight into how to handle life when circumstances call for us to make allowances, for a time, in our goals and plans. This was my first blog written during my 3-month hiatus from cooking.

First-Trimester Hiatus Blog 1:  “A bump in the Belly, a Bump in our Plan to Better Eating…”
Blog Written at 8 Weeks pregnant, October 22, 2012

My poor husband may suffer through this first trimester a little more than I will. Well, okay, I take that back as I veg out on the sofa, deemed useless by nausea and exhaustion. However, he will suffer this first trimester more than he did during my first trimester of pregnancy with Ezekiel. With Zeke, the early weeks of my pregnancy brought about a strong aversion to anything fresh–fruits or vegetables. This really wasn’t big deal because there wasn’t much of that matter in our diet anyways. The early weeks also brought a strong inclination to processed foods. Again, this was no big ordeal, as we were accustomed to our occasional frozen pizza or Mac N Cheese dinner. These would now simply become a more prevalent staple on our dinner menu for a while.

Zeke may have to take over some of the responsibilities in the kitchen for a while…

However, between my last and present pregnancy, much transition and growth has taken place in our way of eating. Now frozen pizza is archaic, lost in our minds as a past time of old, a mistake, an error in our previous judgment of what food is. Instead our meals are filled with fresh vegetables and tasty whole grains. Grayson has grown quite fond of wholesome, delicious homemade meals on the dinner table virtually every night of the week.

And so, going into this pregnancy, I resolved to continue our current way of eating. It has become such a primary importance and priority in my life to feed my family well, to fuel them up for their days with energizing food, to bring them around a table of good conversation centered around delicious food. I couldn’t give this all up, not after all of our work, progress, and growth.

Zeke doesn’t always want to eat his veggies either…

And so we set out, as ritual on Saturday mornings, to the Farmers Market. As we strolled along, Grayson commented on the great array of colors and variety of produce that week. I was just approaching my 7th week of pregnancy. My normal feelings of excitement and adventure surrounding the possibilities of new and unfamiliar produce was now replaced by a queezy unsteadiness in my stomach. I just wanted to get in and get out before the once beautiful produce turned my breakfast of carbs in my stomach enough to expel them in front of one of the vendors….

Instead of our usual overflowing stroller packed with fresh veggies, we left the market that day with some potatoes, cranberries, and decorative gourds (oh, and cookies!). The potatoes and cranberries still stand untouched on my hutch a week and a half later. For a first of the season, we didn’t even visit the market this week.

And so, Grayson, so accustomed to delicious meals at the end of his work day, now comes home to a wife laying on the couch, water and crackers on hand; a wife who has no desire, and in fact a strong aversion to step foot in the kitchen.

Staying active during early pregnancy

It has been a blow to my confidence, yes, but humbling all the same. I set out this first trimester telling myself, “We need a plan.” I thought that maybe if I just forced myself to cook despite my nausea, or maybe if Gray cooked a few nights a week, or maybe if I could focus on what I could stomach and only cook those meals, we could press on. However, I’ve come to see that I need to focus less on the “how” we will go about this, and more on the “why”. Why have I been so adamant on continuing just as strong as I have been in cooking and seeking better nutrition for my family? Part of it was pride, my avoidance to admit a weakness, that I simply cannot handle as much responsibility in the kitchen while I’m growing a little being in my belly. Especially to admit, here, to my readers, that  there have to be allowances in our diet for times such as these.

I kept focusing on the plan, the how of making this work for the next few months, when all the while I was ignoring the why. Why, in the first place, did we begin this journey? We did it to better the health of our family, to set our children up with a healthy understanding of food, and how God designed to bless us through it. We did this to protect our family from disease and harm. I realize, now, that all the stress over “how” to cook well while pregnant is more damaging to my baby than a grilled cheese sandwich from Culvers. The stress is what I must avoid. We set out on this venture to learn. A new challenge always presents opportunity for further education and a deeper knowledge. That’s just what I must see this as. Yes, a bump in the road, but one I must see as an opportunity to learn and grow even further in our venture of good health. I take it day by day. On good days I take advantage of the opportunity to cook, even if not the healthiest of meals, it’s still cooked in our kitchen by my hands. On days I find myself comatose on the couch watching Netflix for a lack of ability to do anything else, those days we will reserve for pizza (takeout–we draw the line at frozen pizza, now), or Chinese. It’s give and take, but not so much stressful anymore. I recognize my limits and embrace them, as this is a time of rest, a precious time of nurturing this child within me.