I see it as I show up and do the rinse and repeat work of motherhood. As we tackle the same tasks and discipline at a dizzying pace, waiting for results we may not glean for years to come. Will we trust that God is at work in the midst of our waiting?

“Do you feel this lump right here on her head?” I asked. “Yes.” she responded. It wasn’t all in my mind. Panic pulled my heart into my stomach.

Yesterday we passed by a memorial. Flowers planted under a fence line next to a crooked wooden cross. A name, and “6.21.18”. All those strangers were right.

As the nurse rushed in with an IV and oxygen mask explaining, “Your doctor is on her way”, I suppose that is that moment that I realized something was very wrong.

As a young mother, anxiety began to overtake my life. I was fearful because I realized that I couldn’t possibly stay in control of their lives. Have you felt that way?

I am in love with each stage and every turn. Until now. Until this. Did you see this day when you formed her in my womb?