“The days are long, but the years are short,” they tell you.

And some days you know. Oh, how you know. You feel the clear aching of the years slipping by, the weight of the weeks that have already been spent. You look at your precious little one who is suddenly not-so-little-anymore, and you know. You feel how quickly time moves, heedless of your wishing it would just slow down.

But there are other days, too. Days when the piles of laundry threaten to burry you, the baby won’t sleep, and you realize you no longer recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror. There are days when the next person who tells you to enjoy these years might get punched in the face, at least in your mind, because if you’re being really honest, you love these little people but you just can’t enjoy them right now. There’s not much left of the woman you used to be. You feel overwhelmed and alone and unseen.

Mama, if you have felt this way, I am there with you. I know what it is to feel lost amidst the demands of motherhood, to feel that all you are good for is changing diapers and picking up messes, and to long for an adult conversation and just one solitary moment to use the bathroom alone.

Our culture tells us that what we need is to do something for ourselves, a hobby or some time away. This is the easy answer. It may satisfy, but only superficially. “Me time” is a well that will not quench our thirst. We have a shallow view of motherhood if we look at it as something to be escaped, but so often that is exactly how we feel. Where do we turn when motherhood uses us up and dries us out?

Although taking care of ourselves is important, the answer does not lie in an elaborate self-care plan. The answer is worship. So often what we think we need when life as a mom feels unbearable is a reordering of our circumstances, some time out from under the heaviness of it all. But worship isn’t concerned with our circumstances; worship reorders our hearts. Though our feet may be shackled by the limbs of toddlers, a heart of worship is free and light. When we feel tired and alone, a heart rightly aligned in worship will be strengthened and comforted. When we turn our eyes away from our circumstances and fix them on the one who emptied Himself for us, we become more willing to empty ourselves for Him. We delight in it.

Jesus tells us that the only way to find our lives is to lay them down. But mama, listen – do not lay your life down for the sake of your children. They are not worthy of your worship. The sacrifices made out of great love for your children do have value. But they cannot sustain you. They will let you down and leave you empty. Our love for our children should pale in comparison to our love for our savior. Only those things we sacrifice in worship to the One who is worthy of our whole lives have eternal value. And this One whom we worship tells us that He delights in even the smallest sacrifices. Changing diapers can be an act of service, not to your child, but to God Himself. There is nothing that we do, however insignificant it may be, that is lost to Him.

I have come to realize what a great gift it is to lose myself to motherhood. Motherhood is sanctifying in a deep and mysterious way. As I empty myself everyday in worship, He is conforming me more and more into His image. It is my prayer for us today that we would see the sacrifices of motherhood as the beautiful acts of worship that they are; that we would pursue our hobbies and our passions, not as an escape, but as one more way to worship God with our whole beings; and that our great love for our savior would be what spills over into love for our families.