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Please don’t ever think that I say this because I don’t love you enough. No my sons, I say this precisely because I love you so impossibly much.

There is a bigger promise I should have made to you that day as we slipped gold bands of promise around each other’s fingers; one I could not have imagined back then would need a vow to stand behind it.

The newborn days are a puzzle; an intimate game of mother and child figuring each other out. And this game–this season of such beauty–it begs for grace.

Within just a minute of the ultrasound technician placing the warm gel and ultrasound wand onto my swollen belly, I knew something did not look right. The technician did not divert her gaze from the screen as she spoke, The technician did not divert her gaze from the screen as she spoke, “I can only find 4 centimeters of fluid. I’m calling your doctor.”

Why maybe it’s ok that we don’t cherish every moment, but instead unearth the beauty threaded throughout them.